10 Thoughts British Men Have When Getting A Haircut

When all is clipped, cut and dry, you are shown the back of your head, which, yes, has indeed been cut. As they undo the buttons around your neck like a dog being freed of it's leash, you are offered complimentary wax or gel, to which you shrug and say "Sure!". Because, you know, how much worse can it get?

They take a pea-sized portion of hair product and roughly apply it to your hair, ruffling it around in every which way. They may even get more of the product and go in for seconds, because apparently the first round didn't quite get the windswept look.

And they're done.

What have they done? Something that completely isn't you. Or it would be you if you were a member of a boy band, and this was the 1990's. Of course they don't know how you wear your hair, but it certainly isn't this. Do they not know you have to face the public the moment you step outside?

You may even be brazen enough that when you get up, you adjust a few strands. But you can't stand there for too long adjusting the travesty or you'll just look plain rude. Like you don't appreciate the job they've done. Imagine that.