3. King Pausanias (5th Century BC) - "That Is Because I Never Employed You As My Physician"
As a 5th-Century BC Spartan general, Pausanias was not someone who liked to mince his words - and he was very matter of fact in just about everything he said and did. Responsible for the Greek victory over Mardonius and the Persians at the Battle of Plataea in 479 BC, he was feared across southern Europe and northern Africa. During a check-up from one of his physicians following a battle, the doctor turned to Pausanias and declared: "You have lived to a great age." King Pausanias then stated:
"That is because I never employed you as my physician."
Needless to say, the physician did not try to give another smart response...
NUFC editor for WhatCulture.com/NUFC. History graduate (University of Edinburgh) and NCTJ-trained journalist. I love sports, hopelessly following Newcastle United and Newcastle Falcons. My pastimes include watching and attending sports matches religiously, reading spy books and sampling ales.