You tip-toe into the kitchen, laughing to yourself that you tricked the mess in the living room into thinking you were going to tidy it up. Stupid mess. Life, however, has a way of getting its revenge very quickly and there it sits. In the middle of the kitchen floor. Looking at you. A HUGE spider. Now, if you live with other people, theres usually someone whos a bit of an outdoors expert. Someone who can scoop up a poisonous spider (because theyre all poisonous) stroke it, coo at it and then release it into the wild. Theres always someone. Not when you live by yourself though. Then its just you and him. You, millions of years of evolution. You can think independently. Drive a car. Write a book. Not put on pants (but thats another thing). And him. Eight legs, teeth and, er...eight legs. Its just you and him. Man versus beast. Its like gazing down a rifle at your prey and slowing your heartbeat as you squeeze the trigger. This is the wild. Only, its not. Its your kitchen but, to be honest, you dont need it. The spider can have it because its huge. You backtrack slowly out of the room and close the door and, quietly, so very quietly, you can hear the spider laughing, guffawing at your complete and utter fear. You lost the battle.
