For you to enjoy this no pants day or, as its now known, no kitchen day, youre going to need supplies. You find a pair of jogging bottoms and yank them on a wander out, like a Neanderthal, blinking into the sunlight. If you do this shop quickly, you can be back in your hovel before the world even knows you exist. In and out. Like a military operation. Sneak in. Get the goods. Leave. The problem is, when you live by yourself, real food doesnt exist. When you live with others you make nice pastas with a side salad. A nice slow cooked red wine beef casserole with crusty bread. Maybe even a turkey stir-fry with homemade egg fried rice. All perfectly grown-up and sensible. On entering the shop though, you head straight for booze aisle and throw a box of beer in followed by a few bottles of wine and some top-up whiskey. Then you head to the crisp aisle and, ignoring the actual brand crisps, grab some bacon rinds and onion rings. Then you grab a few pasties and sausage rolls (because the kitchen is off limits). The shop is done. And so will your digestive system once it gets a load of that lot.
