Its been an hour since the heady delight of the PPI call and youve finished your beer long ago. What to do now? Well, if you live by yourself, the only conversation youll get during the day is...with yourself. Should I have another beer? Why yes, have another beer. It would be rude for that empty bottle not to have a friend. Oh, Im so witty. I should be on the stage. Stand-up comedian for the ages. A bear walks into a bar and say to the barman, Ill have a whiskey and...soda and the barman says, Why the pig pause? and the bear says, Dunno, Ive always had them. Ooh, maybe I should have some crisps. Where did my pants go? Who knows. I wonder if that spider is still in the kitchen. Wheres the bottle opener gone?... And on and on it goes. A stream of consciousness that James Joyce would be proud of. The problem is, we dont even know were doing it half the time. When you live with other people those muscles, those conversation muscles, are used on real people. When you live by yourself though, all youve got is your jaw and a lot of dead air that needs filling.
