The practice of cactus plugging is a pseudo-sport wherein the people taking part find themselves in a remote part of the desert, surrounded by saguaro cacti, and shoot at them until they fall over. If you hadn't worked it out by that description alone, let's be clear: cactus plugging is a mind-numbingly stupid thing to ever consider doing. A cactus is an extremely tough plant, most of the ones you see in movies look like they're flexing, they're covered in thousands of needles and once they've reached a good age, they become exceptionally heavy. Unfortunately for the somewhat intellectually deficient David Grundman of Arizona, this would be information he would not find out until it was precisely too late to do anything about it. Grundman was out in the desert with his roommate in 1982, when the two of them decided that cactus plugging was exactly the sort of wholesome activity that justified their level of intelligence. Grundman shot and felled a small cactus, but was left unimpressed by the feat, I mean, who exactly is impressed by the death of a tiny, spiny plant? So instead he turned his attention to a 26ft tall saguaro, reported to have been around 100 years old. Grundman opened fire on the enormous plant, and succeeded in dismembering it several times, an unmitigated triumph in the battle of Man vs Vegetation. However, what then happened was that a 4ft long limb of the plant, blasted free by one of Grundman's shotgun volleys came tumbling back down to Earth. And by Earth, I mean David Grundman's squishy body. The impact crushed Grundman, as the Plants clawed an equalising point in our eternal battle.
