15 Problems Only Burlesque Performers Will Understand

2. Hairspray Lung

Similar to "glitter lung" but way more vom-inducing. The hairspray lung comes from continuously having hairspray squirted inches from your face in a space that is about the size of a broom cupboard. In fact, in one venue that shall remain nameless, it's actually a broom cupboard. Much like Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge, beautifully fading due to consumption, one day we'll all fall victim to this terrible silent killer. Although rather than falling, angelic-like from an aerial hoop, our demises will be much more of a sudden face-plant in the red room of Cafe de Paris. Meh, there's worse ways to go.