Right well now you're just being silly. Why would these things be in your bottom. Why would you introduce a beer bottle to your posterior. Why would you thing glass and your tush would work in concert. Have you not considered that maybe sticking anything of the sort up your derriere might be a bad idea. Did the cocaine possibly have something to do with these keister catastrophes? The actual full description of this particular misadventure and ensuing emergency room visit is "BEER BOTTLE UP RECTUM & BOTTLE BROKE WHEN TRIED TO RETRIEVE BOTTLE W/ PLIERS. COCAINE USE PRIOR TO INSERTION." Right, well that explain the why (as in, they were super high on coke). Not so much anything else. Then there's BOTTLE BROKE WHEN TRIED TO RETRIEVE BOTTLE W/ PLIERS which is a sentence of such terrifying cosmic horror such as to destroy the mind of any sane man. Not even HP Lovecraft would've touched that one. So to speak.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
