15 Strangest Things Found In People's Butts In 2014

9. An Unsharpened Pencil

Obviously nobody would be as insane as to put a sharpened pencil up their bum! That's just beyond the pale. No doubt at some point when you were a child (or else an idiotic adult) you've taken a sharpened HB to the hand, either from a vengeful classmate or whilst imitating that knife game that Bishop the android does in Aliens. That's painful enough, and that's in your hand. Imagine if that pointy bit of lead should be introduced to your sensitive little butt hole. When you put it like that, inserting an unsharpened writing implement into your rectum has a certain sort of logic. Divorced from that context, in isolation, the idea of popping a pencil in your bum is bonkers. All power to you, whoever this sexy stationary individual is, but c'mon. There are desk tidys for that. Not sure how much sitting at a desk appeals now, mind.