18 Awkward Moments Every Introvert Has Been Through

5. Answering The Phone

There you are, minding your own business. Perhaps you're reading a book. Maybe you're watching a film. Either way, it's a good day to be an introvert. Then the phone rings. Who could it be? What do they want? Why do they want to ruin your fun? It could be the tax-man, or the police or maybe even a murderer ("Do you like scary movies?" €“ "Yes. By myself, now bugger off."). You move slowly over to the phone, sweat dripping down your forehead. You should have unplugged it. Or ignored it. Or just not have a phone or any other means of communication with the outside world. Your fingers grip the receiver and you almost want to weep as you lift it to your ear. "No, auntie. I haven't seen Coronation Street. Oh, really? Why yes, tell me all about I programme I don't like and don't watch in a really long, boring way which will make me want to punch myself unconscious. At least then I can be alone with my thoughts."

4. Making A Phone Call

You can be having a great day at work. No-one's talked to you for hours and that report you had to finish has a colour-coded set of Appendices only Alan Turing could decipher. It's a good day to be an introvert. Then your boss walks past you and says, "Could you give Paul from Accounts a quick ring and get the Projected Costs from the SP109 Excelsior Account and stay on the line with him until he does it. It'll only take half an hour." Firstly, no. I don't want to phone Paul because he set me up on a disastrous date at the Christmas Party which ended with me stuck in the toilet window of my favourite cafe. Secondly, picking up that phone and actually talking to Paul is right up there with bear-baiting and Deer Hunter-style Russian-roulette games in the list of things I never want to do. You look at your boss and smile (nay, sneer, there goes that bonus for the colour-coding) and talk to Paul who gets great enjoyment telling you 'how mullered' he was at the Christmas Party. Go away, Paul.

3. Someone Sitting Next To You On Public Transport

You're on the bus. Heading towards the terrifying proposition of the date set up by Paul from Accounts. All is good though. You're carefully scripting your questions and thinking that this must be how extroverts act. All 'public and questioning and that.' Then the bus stops. And people get on. And one of them sits next to you. This is bad enough but then, then, they talk to you. "Awful weather we're having...you from round here?...I tell you what, the youth of today..." On and on it goes. You can't get off before your stop because you will not be forced off this bus. So, very carefully, you slip on your in-the-ear headphones and nod to your music as they ask you question after question after bloody question. At least they don't know you're ironically listening to Shut Up by The Black Eyed Peas. 'Serves you right. Trying to bring me out, blinking and terrified, into the open world by talking to me. You terrible person.' Patrick's Day hangover. And close the door quietly when you leave.

2. The First Date

Is there anything worse for the introvert than the first date? Yes, even extroverts probably get nervous by them but for the introvert, it's like all their nightmares rolled into one heart-shaped ball of spikes. From the moment you meet them and sneer, before they ask if you're alright because "you look a bit down", to having to talk to, and order coffee from, a barista before waving at Harold as he sits in tears with Steve (who just glares at you), it's all too much. Your opening gambits are great and have been scripted within an inch of your life. 1. So how do you know 'Paul From Accounts' again? (Witty) 2. What do you do? (Interested in career) 3. What's your favourite film? (Interested in entertainment) It's all going well until they ask you a question. They want to know about you. This is completely unexpected. However, it could be something as simple as, "What do you fancy to eat?" It doesn't matter, they've gone off-script. Improvisation was never your strong suit. You stare at them hoping something both earth-shattering and intensely witty to come out of that sneering hole you call a mouth. Then you say... "I'm just going to the toilet to see if there's a window I can jump out of."