18 Awkward Moments Every Introvert Has Been Through
9. Weddings
The joy and wonder of a wedding. The moment when two people, in front of an expectant crowd, hold hands and commit themselves to a lifetime of love and harmony. An incredible day. Unless you're an introvert and you've come by yourself. The day starts happily enough as no-one really talks in the church. You can sit there quietly enjoying seeing two of your friends get hitched. The problem starts with the pre-reception drinks when the 'mingle' starts. People talking to people they don't know about how they know the bride and groom. It's awful. Only exceeded by the meal when you realise your friends have put you at a table with people who want to know everything about you. This is then worsened by the evening 'do' when a whole other group of new people enter baying for alcohol and Take That. Weddings. If ever there was a reason to be an extrovert, it is here. For the introvert with a partner though, it's fine. Push them into the circle of chattering and bolt for the Babycham.
8. Dealing With Someone Crying
We've all been there. Some people can deal with a crier as if they've been a counsellor for the past fifteen years. The introvert, however, is terrified of these moments. You're sat in a cafe with an acquaintance, let's call him Harold, and you're waiting for your mutual friend Steve. The silent moments tick by until Harold gets a text, looks at his phone and bursts into tears. You immediately look at the floor, trying to make yourself as small as possible. When this doesn't work, you look around the cafe for any rescuers, a helpful barista, another introvert who feels your pain, but no, everyone else is totally aware of the situation and is reading their free newspaper with a focus akin to a 100 metre sprinter. It's only then that you realise you have to speak to Harold. So, you lean across, tension coursing through your body. Harold looks up, tears dripping from his eyes, half a smile on his face as he realises you're going to help him in his hour of need. You then open your mouth and quietly say, "I'll just nip outside and give Steve a ring. He's good at stuff like this." You then high-tail it out of there, jump into the nearest taxi, and text Steve telling him you've emigrated.
7. Constantly Explaining To People You "Don't Hate Everyone"
This is a big one, and a regular one. We're quiet people who just want to have a quiet life. We like most people. We genuinely do. We don't always show it on our faces, but our hearts are warm and giving. We just like our own space. Then a 'friend', let's call him 'Paul from Accounts' sits you down because they're worried about you. They're worried that you never smile. That you avoid eye contact. They're worried that you never talk about your feelings. They joke that they think you hate everyone. You want to explain to them that this isn't the case. You do smile, well, you try to. Sometimes you get eye contact but only if the other person isn't looking. Also, you're quite happy not discussing your feelings. It's not a prerequisite of life. And hating everyone? God, no. I like nearly everyone I meet. Actually, scrub that. I hate you, Paul, for asking me. I hate you very much. Now get out of my face you ultra-extroverted, ever-smiling, eye-contacting, lover of life. I hate you and everything you stand for.
6. Organised Fun
Going out for drinks with friends is great. We feel safe. If there's someone new out, it's not a problem. You might not talk to them but it's safe because you know the other five people out with you. After a night in a bar you might randomly decide to go to a club. Drink some more, have a laugh, a dance and a kebab before heading home. Nice. Introverts have great nights out with their mates too. Then there is the horror when a work colleague comes into the staffroom and announces that the Christmas party this year will be in a big hall, in sixties fancy-dress and you have to dance, a bottle of beer cost £9.00 and there will be ten other works parties there. AND YOU MUST HAVE FUN. There is nothing worse for the introvert than to be dressed as a flower child, sitting on the dance floor and weeping as you row your boat along to 'Oops Upside Your Head' as Paul from Accounts tries to set you up with someone from another company. It's pretty hard to be invisible at that moment.
