12. Spray Tans Never Look Even Remotely Natural. Ever.
YoutubeThose who tan tan; those who can't, fake it. But for the palest of people, even faking it isn't an option, because no formula of self tanner actually gives them the natural, sun-kissed glow that such products promise. Instead, it's orange all the way. No matter how convincing a tale of flawless tan the product might weave, what will actually happen is orange. You can scrub, lather, blend, soak, and so on, but it will all be futile. You will be roughly the colour of a traffic cone, and you will have to deal with that unfortunate fact until the colour fades. That's always a fun choice for perpetually pale people: stay pale or risk looking like you've fallen into a vat of Cheeto dust.
11. Any Exercise At All Leaves You Super Flushed
604 Records Inc.Most people get flushed when they exercise; after all, it's a sweaty business. But being pale means that even something as low-key as walking from your car to the store, or even simply moving at all when you're outside, will leave you looking like you've just run a marathon in the midday heat of July. Just like a blush, it's impossible to hide a flush; they pop up when any physical exertion happens at all. No matter how slowly and calmly you move, how much water you drink, and how furiously you fan yourself, it takes no time at all to transform your typical pale complexion to an alarmingly conspicuous shade of red. Too bad "tomato" isn't in style this year.
10. People Make Irksome Comments About Your Skin Tone
Paramount PicturesNope, not ill. Definitely not albino. And no, not a ghost, but, ahh yeah that's funny - NOT. Why do people think that commenting on someone's skin tone is an okay thing to do? Everyone has skin, just like everyone has eyes, feet, lungs, and (mostly) teeth. You wouldn't go up to someone and ask why their hair is curly and brown instead of straight and blonde, why they're left-handed as opposed to right, or why they are 1.7 metres tall and not 1.5 - so why do people make remarks about others' skin like it's no big deal? After all, it's not like fair-skinned people have a choice. In the immortal words of Lady Gaga, they were "born this way."