Hotels are dark, disturbing places. As we learned from the Overlook Hotel from The Shining, they carry the twisted psychic energy of every bad deed that has been done in their halls by a passing traveller, even if that deed was just clogging up a toilet. It takes hours of plunger work and a lot of bleach to sort that, and they're really never properly clean again. Gross. And you know who has to deal with all of the heinous mojo (and smells) that get left behind by these nefarious patrons? The hotel staff. You can just tell when you look into their eyes as they hand you your keycard: they've seen things, man. So it should come as no surprise that a Reddit thread asking for people's craziest experiences with guests whilst working in hotels has been wildly popular. Not all of them involved bodily fluids, but a lot of them did. What we went mining for, however, was the truly insane stuff. Not the usual depraved activities you might expect occur behind the closed doors of a Premier Inn off the M62 near Hull (hopefully not involving Lenny Henry), but the truly unexplainable. The acts you couldn't possibly - or wouldn't possibly want to - conceive of people doing in their own homes, let alone in a semi-public place like a hotel. Maybe it's that weird paradox, the fact that these rooms are technically people's homes - just for a shorter amount of time. Maybe it's being out of their usual environment that makes people act out. Maybe there's just a lot of lunatics going on holiday. Whatever it is, we feel sorry for the diligent bellboys, auditors and housekeepers who not only have to deal with these travesties, but shared their stories with us. These are twenty examples of things that hotel employees should never have to deal with, but do.
20. Being Asked To Strip
Ooo baby you want me? Well you can get this lapdance here for, like, five bucks.
19. Late Night Jazz
Sure, it looks fun when they do it on Treme, but in reality it's a crazy big headache, and a hotel full of disgruntled customers. Maybe if you listen to the notes they're not playing you'll manage to drift off, but that's not a guarantee. And woe betide the poor bellhop you tries to break up an jam session when they get going...
18. Dad Fights
We feel this is the whole ongoing, messy gay marriage debate in America boiled down to one amazing brawl. An amazing, day-ruining, heartbreaking brawl. Which some kid had to break up, and then clean up after, and then get emotional counselling for (and possibly put off coming out of the closet themselves for a good while).
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
Maybe it's that weird paradox, the fact that these rooms are technically people's homes - just for a shorter amount of time. Maybe it's being out of their usual environment that makes people act out. Maybe there's just a lot of lunatics going on holiday. Whatever it is, we feel sorry for the diligent bellboys, auditors and housekeepers who not only have to deal with these travesties, but shared their stories with us. These are twenty examples of things that hotel employees should never have to deal with, but do.
