4. It Came Back From Repair In Worse Condition Than When It Went Away
"Now, thats not fair. Our repair centre may not be staffed with MENSA candidates, but Im pretty sure they know the difference between repair and destroy" This is a lie, plain and simple. The customer isnt happy with a repair and they want a replacement, they want it brand new because nothing else will do. So that rules out refurbished items. Complaints will come in of screens and cases that are scratched, loose buttons, damaged connections, anything that they havent broken themselves is ripe for claiming that its damaged. Most repair centres these days have a quality control station, where every repair is checked over to make sure that not only the repair itself has worked, but that no extra damage has occurred while theyve had the gadget in their employ. Its not rocket science to make sure that a device leaves the repair centre in a better state than when it arrived. On the rare occasion that the customer is telling the truth here, the issue normally lies with the courier service, which leads nicely to:
3. It Arrived And It Was Destroyed.
"What do you mean destroyed? Uh-huh. I see. How many pieces? Right, not our fault, sorry." Couriers arent perfect. Neither is the postal service. The problem is, some couriers are less perfect than others. Things get damaged in transit, its a fact of life and unfortunately it can sometimes be unavoidable. Thats why you should always insure expensive gadgets that are being couriered around the country. You should also be vigilant. I know new-phone-day is exciting, that finally, after 24 months you have a shiny new gadget to call your own, but if the courier turns up and the package is crushed and torn to pieces you should not accept it. If you take the package in and sign for it you are saying to the courier this package arrived in good condition and there are no problems with it. So if you signed for an obviously destroyed package and try to tell a techie youre not happy with the condition it arrived in then you will get no sympathy. If the courier does turn up with a destroyed package for you, refuse it and claim against the insurance for a new item. Dont bother a techie because they wont help and they definitely wont care.
2. Im An IT Professional, You Know?
"No, I didnt know. Did you know that I dont care? Bet you didnt know that either" IT Professionals are the worst when ringing tech support. They are guaranteed to get the backs up of every techie they come into contact with and cause enough frustration to make Stressed Eric look like Regular Eric. The problem is, with IT professionals, is that they think they have some kind of kinship with a techie, like they are from the same universe. Theyre not. IT professionals are experts in coding, excel, deployments, UNIX etc. It doesnt mean they can rattle off the access point details for an iPhones internet connection from memory. Being a techie and being an IT consultant are two vastly different things. Some techies exist in both camps and co-exist quite well with both the techies and the IT folk, but its rare and the two roles rarely ever cross over. The joy of an IT professional calling up is pointing out to them that their own diagnostics were a waste of time and just restarting their particular troublesome device would have solved everything. Humble pie can be quite bitter.
1. Im Not Mad At You
"THEN WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?" A lot of people ring call centres to vent. In some cases, it makes them feel better to vent about their particular issues and get a few things off their chest. However, its worth bearing in mind that the people youre screaming at are human beings and dont enjoy being yelled at. The pinnacle of this patronising behavior is the line Im not mad at you, I know its not your fault. Its not comforting to be told that while youre being yelled at for something you havent done. It would be like a soldier saying Im not fighting you, Im fighting your leaders, I know this isnt your fault while hes pumping several rounds into the enemys stomach. Its a pointless fallacy because over there phone there is no distinction between yelling at someone and yelling near them. In actual fact, you are mad at the techie, because the techie is the first person youve come across who can help you and you feel you absolutely have to make sure he knows exactly how annoyed you are. So you yell at him, you swear at him, you insult him and then you lie to him by saying youre not mad at him. Put the shoe on the other foot, how would you like it if a random person came up to you in your place of work and screamed in your face. Its not nice is it? Then what if they told you that they werent mad at you, just mad in general? Horrendous, isnt it? But techies being the resourceful lot they are, embrace this period of being yelled at. Nine times out of ten, the issue theyre being yelled at for is something simple and in the best cases, can be fixed without the customer even doing anything. So they let the customer yell away, screaming on down the phone while they click away at their tools and their systems. When the customer has run out of steam, all they need do is tell the customer to retest their issue and then all of a sudden, the customer feels a crushing guilt for not giving this techie the benefit of the doubt and trusting their abilities. Techies can hear this moment of realisation and it sounds like victory.
I am a man of many interests. I am a passionate gamer, running my own YouTube channel (The Gadget Addicts) showing off the best of modern gaming in the form of Let's Play videos.
I am an ardent musician, having been a guitarist for the past 13 years. I am also a massive geek, I adore science fiction and fantasy films and TV shows and am trying to work up the courage to start writing a novel. If I can ever think of a good story to tell...
I live with my wife in the North East of England and own a belligerent little black cat.
