20 Lies We All Tell Technical Support Agents

"Good afternoon you're through to tech support, how can I help you today?" That line is repeated in various forms thousands of times every single day up and down the land. At some point in your life you will find something you own or pay for isn't working and you will have to make the call and speak to a helpful techie. Tech Support is the pinnacle of the call centre world. All roads will eventually land you at a technical advisor if you complain long enough. Sales agents, managers, customer service and complaints all use tech support for advice on dealing with their customer's issues. Sometimes if the techie is nice he/she may even offer to take over the call and sort the customer out, just because they can. Tech support are the online detectives, with the knowledge and experience that will allow them to diagnose and sort out your problem remotely, without ever seeing the non functioning gadget or doodad in question. Yes, tech support are the rock stars of the service industry. Universally revered by other agents and grudgingly accepted by management, the techies are responsible for keeping this ever more complicated world turning, one crashed phone and dropping broadband connection at a time. It is a shame, though, that customers don't give the techies the same level of adoration or respect. No, to customers, techies are the backroom geeks who fill their time between calls with games of Dungeons And Dragons or finding some way to create the girl from Weird Science all the while repairing the bridge of their glasses with sticky tape after one of the cool sales guys stole their lunch money. And because of that lack of respect, adoration or fear (trust me, you should fear what Tech support can do), customers will try and manipulate techies or deem their process unimportant. Customers seem to believe that techies have a big red button on their desk that says "FIXED" on it that will get their service working immediately. So they lie. They try to skip important steps, twist the system to their needs and even try to pit techies against each other. But techies aren't stupid. After all, their job is to work what is wrong with something without even seeing it. Techies know when you're lying and here are 20 lies that they're told all the time.