20 Problems Only Baristas Will Understand

3. Christmas Chaos

flickrflickrThere is never a worse time to be a barista than from November to January. It€™s cold and miserable yet somehow it€™s the season to be jolly. The queues are endless, the store is frantic and the hours feel twice as long, by the end of the day you barely have the energy to make it through your front door. Busy is an understatement, uncontrollable hellstorm works. You need a rousing Braveheart speech that would put Shakespeare to shame to help you get through the days leading up to Christmas.

2. Starbucks, God Damn You Starbucks

Starbucks Raising Prices Gif Baristas hate Starbucks. Starbucks are our Dinkleberg. They€™re the Manchester United of coffee, the Justin Bieber of Coffee, the John Cena and Michael Bay of coffee - why? Because no matter how bad they are, they will somehow always grind out results (except in Australia, God bless those stubborn Aussies). The quality of their drinks is quite frankly terrible (their Americano will make any coffee connoisseur weep) and one of the worst things a customer can say to a barista is €œWell that€™s not how Starbucks make it.€ Go to Starbucks then!

1. Those Customers Who You€™re Certain Will Kill You

Giphy 119 Gif When you€™re a barista you come across a whole foray of people, but none are quite as memorable as those daylight nutters who visit your store. Sometimes you get a customer who has lost the plot so much you fear for the day they turn up in a hockey mask wielding a chainsaw. These regulars don€™t just order their drink and sit down like the average customer, they€™ll follow you around the store, Facebook-stalk you and make sure you know their insane life story. Sometimes they even pretend to be a clone of themselves (I wish I was making this up) or tell you all about their travels across the cosmos to an undiscovered pocket of the universe that is dark and smells of hazelnut (Same person though... oh, Steve). Although you fear the day when you€™re on the six o€™clock news telling journalists you €˜saw the signs€™, you can€™t help but love their crazy company. Did we miss any off? Get your rant-caps on and delve into the comments!
 
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An aspiring filmmaker, writer, traveller, and avid comic book fan, with an undying passion for calligraphy and chopping boards shaped like fruit. Genuinely enjoys receiving your hate mail.