8. Accidentally Ending Up In Handsworth
Walt Disney PicturesHandsworth is literally the scariest place in the world. All Brummies know that ending up in Handworth is basically a death sentence. Whether you've accidentally got off the bus too early, or been sleepwalking through town, Handsworth is the last place you want to find yourself. When it happens, and it will, the best thing to do is make for the nearest tram stop and get the hell out of there as soon as you can. This is easier said than done because there's every chance that whilst you're trying to do this you'll be mugged and / or shot. As everyone knows, it's just not a great place to be. You might want to take shelter in the library, but rumour has it that the librarians are actually assassins and the books are filled with weaponry. Get out. Get out now.
7. People Thinking You Know Everyone in Birmingham
NBC"Oh, you're from Birmingham. Do you know Alex Smith?" Um, no, do you? Newsflash: Birmingham is not a small place. Asking Brummies if they know a random person who once lived there is like asking them if they have a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. They probably don't. This is the bane of every Brummie's life, because, like the accent thing, it happens to them wherever they go. Usually the people asking have never actually been to Birmingham. Maybe they're from London and they assume that the second city is a small village type place where everyone knows each other and you call the milkman by his first name. Well, it's not. It is a huge city, where people are slightly friendlier than Londoners and slightly angrier than Northerners. Oh, and no one knows anyone.
6. Accidentally Ending Up In Snobs
http://counteract-magazine.comThere is one place no Brummie wants to end up going at the end of the night and that place is Snobs. Yes, the club that always seems to have scaffolding on it, is a not a place of dreams, rather a place of nightmares. No self-respecting Brummie (and, no, that's not a contradiction in terms) wants to find themselves in Snobs after a messy night on Broad Street. Yet it always happens. You always have good intentions at the beginning of the night. "I am definitely not going to end up in Snobs tonight", you will proudly proclaim to your group before heading out to taste the wonders of the Birmingham nightlife scene... Then several hours and sambucas later, there you'll be, sweating it up next to a group of 18-year-olds, whilst waiting to get another vodka and coke.
5. People From Solihull Pretending To Be Brummies
Warner Bros.Who can blame them? Everyone wants the prestige and honour that comes with being a Brummie. But let's get one thing straight people from Solihull are
not from Birmingham. They might like to think that they are. Worse still, they might go ahead and claim that they are in less-knowledgeable company, but they are not. They are something very different. Who knows what you're meant to call them? Solihullians? Maybe. These people claiming to be Brummies is embarrassing for them and embarrassing for Brummies alike. Not a good call. The same goes for people from the Black Country, who will also claim a Brummie heritage when the moment takes them. Come on.