20 Problems Only People From Southampton Will Understand

8. Feeling Really Old In Term Time

With two universities and 40,000 students roaming the streets, you'd be forgiven for thinking you're one of the hapless fools from Logan's Run, about to be euthanised for being the wrong age. They might keep the bars, clubs and taxis running, but their young person speak is alienating to us all - hence the reason we caw at them like frightened crows as we pass them by, mocking the mum-sponsored haircuts they're desperately trying to grow out. You don't know what Logan's Run is, do you? Christ, I'm old. So very old.