20 Problems Only People From Southampton Will Understand

14. Being Part Of The Weirdly Co-Dependent Portsmouth/Southampton Fracas

Portsmouth and Southampton hate each other, apparently. Not the people, the actual cities - we're just swept helplessly along for the ride. The true origins of the animosity are lost in the mists of time. Well, sort of. There are all kinds of stories, most of which get the details skewed in each telling. There was some dock worker strike that Portsmouth dockers broke... or it was vice versa, or it was to do with some dust-up over crewing the Titanic's sister ship, or he said she said he said yadda yadda yadda. Well, I can exclusively, and for all time reveal the truth: back at the battle of Hastings, Harry Southampton stepped on Billy Portsmouth's bunion, causing a mighty ruction and black eyes all around. Each man went off in a grump and founded a city to get back at the other one, and now we're the south coast's Israel and Palestine. There you go. History is cool.