20 Problems Only People From Southampton Will Understand

13. The Omnipresent Matt Le Tissier

Born in Guernsey, footballing icon and penalty-kicking legend Matthew 'Matt' Le Tissier spent his entire professional career at Southampton FC. That's sixteen years, scoring 209 goals in 540 appearances: if you cut him open, Le God (as Saints fans never tire of calling him) would be red and white through and through. Yes, I know everybody is. Shut up. In the dozen or so years since his retirement, however, Le Tissier has become a fixture... everywhere. He's everywhere. Propping up the bar of your local, presiding over the opening of the Indian on the corner, materialising in the grocery aisle of every Sainsbury's with a knowing twinkle in his eye as your fingers touch over a punnet of kiwis. It's hard to miss someone who never leaves, Matt. I'm just saying.