16. The Staffroom
This is the true test for any student teacher. If you can get accepted in the staffroom you will be accepted in life. Youve seen enough nature documentaries to know that you just move slowly, dont scare any of them and eventually you will find a seat. You enter and silence descends as each teacher, personalised mug in hand, turns to stare at you. You know the rules. If youre female, theyre eyeing you up for a potential classroom dalliance. If youre male, theyre considering you a threat to any future classroom dalliances (obviously reverse and amend as appropriate). You pick up a mug, bland enough, white with pink flowers, and proceed to make a coffee. Thats my mug Ms Prickly says as he marches up to you, taking the freshly made drink from you and sitting down. You then move to a chair (Thats Bobs/Daves/Teds) before you eventually sit in a chair sans cushion and comfort (Thats okay. Thats Dans. No-one likes him). Great. Youve got your place. Above Dan and, well, below everyone else.