20 Problems You'll Only Encounter On The Tyne & Wear Metro

12. Bored Drivers

You catch a glimpse of their emotionless face every day as the metro rumbles into your station. Maybe it's the same person each day; you honestly wouldn't be able to tell. They all have the same tone of voice too, even the women. It's a resigned drawl, sometimes punctuated by a pause as they contemplate the futility of human existence - "The next station...is Heworth." A friend of mine claimed he was on a deserted metro one Sunday night and heard the driver say "The next station is Dance Nation", but I could never bring myself to believe him. It would be fantastic if it was true.

11. "Doors Closing"

The shock when the pre-recorded warning message changes after about three years of monotony is something that scars your psyche. It had been the same one for ages - you were certain they'd never change it again. You secretly yearn for the friendly old man's voice from your childhood: "stand clear of the doors please". Since then he's been replaced by a succession of harsh young professionals barking out their warning. It's just not the same.