20 Problems You'll Only Encounter On The Tyne & Wear Metro

10. Unintentional Soulmate

If you use the metro as part of your morning commute, you'll definitely pick up one of these. They're usually dead-eyed and beaten down, standing almost motionlessly until it's their turn to shuffle off to work. Only their hair length changes. Occasionally you'll make eye contact and instantly regret it. Keep looking at the graffiti next to Hebburn instead.

9. Seat Stealers

The unwritten rule is that the nearest person to an empty seat gets first refusal. It's fair and just. If two people are approaching from opposite directions, it is strictly forbidden to speed up in order to reach the seat first. That makes you a seat-stealer - a future resident of the lowest circle of hell. It's shameless and it has no place in Britain. Our grandparents didn't fight two World Wars for nothing.