21 Problems Only Horse Riders Will Understand

"I love your perfume, what is it?" "Fly spray"

Do you ever think about how strange it is, that a creature so huge, powerful and intelligent an animal as a horse, willingly allows us to ride upon its back? That's the beauty of horse-riding: there's a graceful connection between us and them unlike any other. Upon a horses back, you feel free... even if you do have a nose full of flies. Horse riders do go through their fair share of complications, though, and we're not just talking about the inevitable falling-off-and-nearly-dying scenario; sometimes it's the little things that get under your skin, like the agony of breaking in new half chaps, or the annoyance of tacking up your steed. Oh, and those times when looking at your bank balance can be as much of a blow as riding behind someone who hasn't put a red ribbon on their kicker: whoever said "the best things in life are free" obviously never saw a Dover catalogue. Whenever you talk about the equestrian world to non-horsey people they simply cannot relate, and no matter how many times you explain the difference between hunters and jumpers to your family; they're never gonna get it. In fact, sometimes it's easier to talk to a 2000 pound creature than even attempt to deal with people. So here we have it: a run down of the ins, outs, and complete night "mares" in the life of a rider.

21. When Your Legs Go Into Shock The Moment You Dismount After A Long Ride

Sometimes you completely transcend the whole "bow-legged" thing and your thighs simply turn to blancmange the second your feet hit the ground.

20. When People Say Rude Things About Your Horse

Never judge a horse by its rider, and never judge a rider by the horse. Can we just round-pen these bitches and leave them there, please?
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