"Take deep breaths and relax," whispers the sleep therapist. Guess what, sleep therapist? It's pretty hard to suddenly forget about breathing if you've just spent the past hour ordering us to concentrate on it. We might die in our sleep from forgetting to breathe. That'd be one embarrassing gravestone inscription.
2. Destroying A Perfectly Made Bed By Fidgeting
Upon the first sight of the rising sun through the curtains, you'll often address the state of your dwellings after a night of pointless twitching and worrying. The result will spark the inner turmoil of this one question: What invisible force wrecked my sheets in the middle of the night? In no time at all, you'll be thinking 'oh right it was me wasn't it'. Then you'll find yourself faced with the daunting task of re-making a bed where everything's un-tucked, the fluffy duvet's spilling out of its case and somehow the mattress is diagonally teetering on the edge of the bed frame. At this point, it's time to invest in some heavy-duty tape.
1. Internet Hypochondria
Expect hours upon hours of sweaty worrying as you blindly type in Google searches without really looking at the keyboard: 'npt slepping, ollness sumptoms.' Google's not good enough. You switch to Ask Jeeves because it gives the illusion of consulting an actual human. Still, nothing. The internet is a pretty awful doctor. You! Yeah, you reading this. You're probably not sleeping right now. Give us some more ideas in the comment box below.
