22 Problems Only Firefighters Would Understand

18. Your Picture In The Paper Equals Beer

The Fire Service has its share of unwritten rules. Obviously they vary a bit from department to department, being unwritten as they are. One that's fairly common however is the Beer Rule. In place primarily to discourage glory seekers from joining the service (one wants firefighters to be there to help people, not to get public recognition), the Beer Rule dictates that any time a picture of you appears in the media where it's possible to identify who you are you have to by beer. For the entire department. Social media has really raised the budget on this one.

17. Having Duty The Day Of The Beer Bust

Speaking of beer... Pulling duty is all well and good and satisfying to do. Except for the saddest duty shift of the year. That duty shift is of course, the Day of The Beer Bust. Once a year, as inevitably as Christmas or Taxes, a subset of Firefighters on your department will have a beer bust in support of some outside thing that they belong to, be it softball league, pub football league or whatever. It will happen. And when it does the poor Firefighter who draws the short straw and has to work that duty shift gets to spend the day knowing two things; 1 - He or she is missing out on all the fun, and 2 - should you actually get a house fire roughly two thirds of your department will be drunk and not respond to it. Good luck with that.

16. The Three Minute To Shift End House Fire

If your duty shift ends at, say, 5:30 AM, and you are going to get a house fire call, it is going to happen at 5:27. You have to accept that. I'm sure you didn't have anything else planned for the next 4 or 5 hours.

15. Sirens Actually Mean Pull Over

It seems bewildering to the general driving public, but when a fire engine comes up behind you with its lights and sirens going, that's actually a signal that you're supposed to pull to the side of the road and stop. Not just stop where you are in the middle of the street. Not continue driving below the speed limit right in front of them. Pull over and stop. It's not that mysterious a code.

14. The Longstanding Battle Between The Tones And The Toilet

There's no really delicate way to put this. Suffice it to say that the alarm tones keep very close track of the ongoing situation in your colon. To put it slightly less delicately, the alarms know when you have to poop. They are waiting for that moment. And the very second that your duty belt hits the floor, they are poised to go off. On your mark... Get set...

13. As Concerns The 'Little Firefighter'

As many are aware, Firefighters wear several layers of protective clothing in order to keep them safe from conditions inside a burning structure. Additionally, Firefighters are frequently on the scene of an incident for many hours. Additionally, when on a fire scene, Firefighters need to stay hydrated by drinking a lot of water. Put those three factors together and you can see where the trouble lies. It is not uncommon at all for a Firefighter, at some point over the course of an incident, to have to relieve him or herself. Unfortunately incidents rarely come with prearranged bathroom facilities. Firefighters are forced to come up with all manner of creative solutions to this dilemma. Trees. Cover of darkness. Neighbouring alleyways. It's not unknown firefighters to go in for an interior search specifically so that they can use the restroom of a building that they know for a fact is currently on fire.