22 Problems Only Gym Goers Will Understand

15. All That Protein...

Even the lightest of gym goers will understand the importance of protein in a diet, be it having an extra piece of meat or maybe some soya beans with dinner. Then there are those who decide they must replace their body fluid with that of instant whey. Others take the see-food diet and consume everything but the kitchen counter (and only leave that because it's bolted down), meaning their life revolves around searching for more food, like some feral beast looking for its next abandoned K.F.C. bucket to gnaw. Those down this route often like to spout the everlasting phrases 'bulking bro', 'I need to get me a protein hit' or even 'go big or go home bro'. No, bro, you go home. There is a more ergonomic if not economic route to sustenance, in the prodigal protein powder. Easy to digest if you're willing to break the bank for a great tasting one, but beware the powders that don't cost the earth, as they tend to taste like toxic sludge. So much so that you fear not only will your muscles grow, but your eyelids and cuticles with them, leaving you some sort of gagging steroidal frog-spider-man thing. However there is a far larger threat that comes with the ingestion of so much protein, which will be revealed later...

14. Strangers Giving Advice

"The problem you got there mate is you need to squeeze at the end of each rep." "You want to work on your breathing, get the right exhale to effort ratio." No no no, it's three parts water one part squash!" Being given advice by strangers at the gym is much like drinking a Brussels sprout smoothie, it may be good for you, but you don't really want to swallow it. Those who tend to divulge such hidden gems of gym canon also tend to be the ones with either no clue, or worse, too much. So much understanding of the gym have they, that they spend their life there, advising you to do the same. Until one day you're at your second gym session of the afternoon and you spot someone using an improper curling technique. So strong is the urge to go and correct them, that you realise you have become what you always hated. An advice giving gym-vampire.

13. Sweat Left On Equipment

Ah finally, the bench you've been waiting to use is vacated by the large gentleman and you can go about your routine. You lay down and rest your head against the top...'squelch'.... oh sweet Jesus. It's only when it's too late that you realise mammoth man did not wipe the equipment down after himself, leaving you to accumulate a crown full of his natural body coolant. Everyone sweats. If you don't sweat at the gym you're either not working hard enough or you train in an aquarium. However, there is no excuse for not wiping a bench or machine down after yourself! There is however a worse case of gym etiquette neglect, a special little gift left on a machine for the next occupant to obtain. Its name is fake tan, and hell follows with it.