22 Problems Only Gym Goers Will Understand

12. Sitting After Leg Day

As the popular Sean Bean meme says, 'One does not simply sit down after leg day'. There is a reason why leg exercises are the most procrastinated of all the gym activities - they are bloody hard! Your legs take a battering every day, what with having to carry the rest of your body about, meaning they are used to stresses and strains. Therefore if you want to really exercise your legs, you have to take them through a little town called squatsville, population...pain. Don't fancy squats, no worries, dead-lift this small apartment building instead. Oh you don't want to do that either? How about crack your knees apart on this inverted leg press...not for you? Congratulations, you're now like all the other gym users who only train upper body. If you do manage to break the mould and regularly train legs, you will become part of a smaller circle, a band of brothers and sisters who have lost many a purse or wallet, simply because you were too ruined to lower yourself and pick it up. Sitting on the toilet becomes the hardest manoeuvre in the world, second only to getting back up again. You weep tears of joy at the sight of an elevator and curse the inventor of stairs.

11. Bragging

Nobody likes an ego, but some half-wit bragging at the gym takes first prize at the douche Olympics. Bragging at the gym is like proclaiming to be the best at solitaire - you're competing with yourself. There is a worse form of boaster however, the unsubtle attempt at subtle bragging. The following transcript is a word for word conversation held at a local gym... "Argh my trip's are aching." "Ah yeah, hows that?" "Well, I did a thousand push-ups yesterday." "Really, a thousand, that's awesome!" "Yeah, well, bored over Christmas see, wasn't I..."

10. Trying To Use The Gym After New Year

3...2...1 Happy new year! Along with the cheap champaign and even cheaper relationships comes that old friend the new years resolution. "A new year, a new me," they tell you in their shrill voices. "You go to the gym don't you? I'll be there next Monday, you wait and see!" And they will, but this time in greater number. The new years gym-goer is not a timid beast - they're fuelled with the confidence that comes with a subconscious understanding that their presence is a fleeting gesture to traditions of auld lang syne. The month of January is always hated amongst regular gym goers, who know that for a least 3 weeks they will have to put up with the sudden influx of token trainers. They take our machines, they take our spaces - not even Carol Vorderman's home fitness DVD can reduce their number. At least they'll be gone by February, until then... just hold on!