16. Customers Rudely Butting In When You're Serving Someone Else
"I'll have a..." Pipe down, Captain Ignorant. It's like the scene from Bruce Almighty when Jim Carrey can hear the world's prayers and it starts to drive him loopy: a relentless crowd of impatient punters all demanding you get them drunk, and quickly. Where did we leave our third pair of hands?
15. Your Mates All Expecting Free Drinks
Dude, we're not about to empty the bottle of Jack Daniels, just because we went to college together. It's like asking a friend working in Tesco to steal a few groceries, or someone in Apple to sly us an iPod. Anyway, they should be buying us drinks. They're the ones painting the town red whilst we're stuck behind the bar, sad-eyed fawns watching all the fun.
14. "I Was Next!"
Aaaaand now you're last.
13. "Is This Your Real Job? You Seem So Smart Though!"
Oh dear. Take a seat, douchebag. Wherever you work, there will always be punters who believe your job is simply an unfortunate situation until that "real job" comes through. As customers drunkenness levels vary, so does the degree of their degrading nature. Truth is, most people behind the bar have plenty of qualifications; it doesn't mean this isn't a real job. It doesn't mean we're failed or struggling; we're not unambitious, or alcoholics, and worst of all - it doesn't mean we're not good at anything else. So swallow that stigma, dear customer, and try not to get it down your shirt... like, erm, half your pint.
12. Demolishing A Full Meal At 4am Like It's Normal
Justifying a plate of greasy chips and giant mustard slathered sausage as morning starts to break, because you damn well deserve it, right? Hell, we'll have a pint while we're at it too.
