2. Looking Half Decent At The Start Of A Shift, Leaving 10 Hours Later Looking Like You've Fought Voldemort
Is that a new foundation giving your skin that dewy effect? Erm, no, it's Sourz. Crawling from work after a shift on your feet is the kind of relief only a bar-worker can relate to - sticky and hot-faced - like some beaten Sambuca-covered zombie. It's probably wise to avoid mirrors from about 10pm, unless you were going for that Slimer from Ghostbusters look.
1. Hating Drunk People Forever And Ever, Amen
Your perception of yourself propped against the bar is very different to the one from the eyes of a bartender. Whilst you may think you look smooth, casual and attractive; you actually look like a horde of wild-eyed goblins. The droopy faces; delayed responses; boorish dispositions: bar tenders come to a point where they just, despise it all. The irony is - you know you'll probably end up in the same state on your next night off.
