Good. God. Is there any question more infuriating than a customer asking if you work in the shop? No, Mr. Customer, I do not work here, I merely enjoy spending every waking hour of my life dressed in a depressing uniform, folding clothes in a store, with a name badge pinned to my chest.
14. Is There A Way Out?
Okay, I stand corrected, there is a more ridiculous question. No, sir and/or madame, there is not a way out, how do you think I came to work here? I simply gave up the hunt for an exit and asked for sanctuary.
13. Working With The Mysterious Stockroom Goblins
You need to build a new stand for the shop floor, but you're lacking the equipment needed, so you must call upon the mythical creatures who dwell in the stockroom. They're strange beings, taller than your average human, and often so well built that they could easily run through walls. If ever you need one, just say their name three times whilst looking into a mirror, and they'll appear.
12. Overtime: The Necessary Evil
Student? Then you must be desperate for money to spend on suitably irresponsible things, and that's difficult when you only earn £40 a week. So you're faced with two choices: you become teetotal, or you agree to sacrifice yet more free time to the art of hanging t-shirts. The horror, the sheer horror of spending a sunny Saturday afternoon trapped inside, surrounded by a pile of disheveled jeans is only made worse when you realise all your mates are sat in a beer garden.
11. Let Me Just Pick Up The Jeans From The Middle Of The Pile
What makes that unwanted extra shift surrounded by denim even worse? When a customer tootles over to your freshly rearranged table of jeans, only to pull a pair from the middle of the pile, causing an avalanche of stonewash hate to come tumbling down upon you. It's at moments like this you curse the day they made beating someone to death with their own severed leg a crime.
