10. The Secret Hangover (Thats Totally Not Secret)
Of course, the advantage of overtime means that you eventually get to treat yourself, however, you often have to work the morning after indulging in a few alcoholic tipples. Your mission: to hide the hangover. Don't even bother. Everyone knows you're rough as a badger's behind, especially the managers you think you're getting one over on. THAT is why you're working in the warmest part of the store, doing the heavy lifting. THEY KNOW!
9. The Secret Hangover Hideout (Even Less Secret)
But there is a second plan in covering your hangover: the hideout. There's a secret lair where no cameras can spy you, most often in the stockroom, or the quietest part of the store. THIS IS A LIE! They know of the place because managers use it too! Avoid at all costs or face widespread ridicule and tasks which are most definitely not welcomed in a fragile state.
8. When Your Managers Chat Next To A Pile Of Mess
"See that enormous pile of burning fury in clothing form over there? Would you mind tidying that up by yourself as eight perfectly able managers stand two foot away and have a lovely chat about our social plans?" The rage. It's enough to cause a 28 Days Later stampede of irate retail workers.
7. The Bank Holiday Massacre
Think having to work overtime was bad? Brace yourself for the world of hurt and emotional turmoil that comes with a Bank Holiday Shift. Yet of all these, Boxing Day is a particular heartache. Waddling your turkey-bloated blob-ish form through a scene which could only be described as a clothing-based re-enactment of Platoon is soul destroying to say the least.
6. Fighting Through Early Morning Shoppers
The terror of beginning a shift before the store is open comes from the ever-watchful eyes of the public, pressed up against the glass doors like the zombie apocalypse is already in full swing. The same rules apply here: move slow and don't attract attention to yourself, and you'll get through unscathed, but if they see you, you'll be dragged to the floor in a chorus of "BARGAAAAAAINS!"
