24 Reasons Newcastle Is Definitely The Happiest City In The UK

12. The Football Cathedral On The Hill

Obviously the less said about the football inside it the better at the minute, but given the old adage that Newcastle fans bleed black and white, the fact that we're the only city who can boast having the football stadium perched high on a hill in the city centre is a source of endless joy. And when the goals go in, it doesn't matter where you are in the city: you will feel the air buzzing and hear the stands rocking with delight.

11. Even The Villains Are Pantomime

Imagine a world where the most notorious outbreak of crime and mass violence in a major city culminated in a man wearing a scarf over his face punching a horse. It might have lead to stinging accusations from rival fans that Geordies are all horse-punchers, but it's hard not to fondly think back to that ridiculous man squaring up to the mighty beast. The bloody great idiot. And then there's Mike Ashley, the most hated man in Newcastle, who must be the only billionaire businessman who mostly refuses to put his hand in his pocket. It's like they're actually trying to be cartoon characters.

10. We've Got Good Genes

And not just in the beautiful face of Cheryl Cole. Why else wouldn't we need to wear coats in freezing cold conditions? We're bred from harder stuff, suited to testing conditions that would upset Shetland ponies and we meet arduous situations with a grin and a determined will that would never be dampened by anything as silly as the cold.