25 Problems Only People From Morpeth Will Understand

20. Fair Day

If you are over the age of 12, or have already experienced one day away from your parents with your pals and three quid in your pocket, the meaning of Morpeth Fair will be lost on you. A few rides and stalls turn up, as do a few cars and some Cumberland wrestlers, for some reason. It's nothing to write home about yet it keeps coming back every year without fail. For most, it turns into an excuse to get blind drink and phone in sick the following Monday morning. While all of the town's charvs (not chavs) dominate the scene on the preceding Friday night as 'Speed Night' takes centre stage. This is the marquee event that takes place in the mecca of pointlessness.