Remember those days when you were ten and you could do 29 cartwheels non-stop across the school playing field? Those days are over, my friend. Have you tried to do a cartwheel in recent years? Don't; it will only end up with you in a crumpled heap screaming for an ambulance because your leg is broken. Same with headstands, crabs, and angel balances. Trying to do gymnastics with your boyfriend in bed for fun is only going to end badly as well. Why hasn't your body maintained it's elasticity? Heaven forbid you're ever in a life-or-death situation where living is only guaranteed if you can forward-roll your way to safety.
I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).
