4 Questions Bearded Men Get Tired Of Hearing From Strangers

4. How Long Did It Take You To Grow That?

This one is usually your starter-for-ten. With child-like innocence, a complete stranger may approach with no warning, their eyes filled to the brim with excitement that they've spotted the delightful hairy creature sitting on your face. This is the first question that tends to gets asked, often resulting in a modest shrug followed by some asinine answer. "I dunno. Few months...?" Let it be known that if my answer of "I don't know. It's been there for as long as I can remember" fails to satisfy your question, I'm not trying to be clever or modest. Truth be known, I remember having a little fuzz at one point and then a sizeable face bush at some point later - there aren't any charts involved. This is not a science experiment, or a child to be measured every day against a door frame for progress. It is a beard, and a life style choice, but the joy is in wearing it, not growing it. Unless there's been some catastrophic custard or soup based problem, leading to mass beard spillage, we don't tend to look in mirrors a lot. That's sort of the joy of having a beard in the first place. To be honest, this isn't one of the most annoying questions - it at least shows evidence of interest. Perhaps the other person really wants a beard of their own and is wondering how long it takes to grow, and they're on a really tight deadline. But that's sort of like asking how long it takes to grow taller. Ultimately it comes down to the individual beard owner.