Beards are awesome, and I've had mine since my ultra scan. Every day I grow stronger with beard-ly prowess and lustre. It keeps my chin warm on dark wintry nights and whispers sweet nothings into my ear because it's either gained sentience and can stretch that far up or I've become schizophrenic. Either way... There is an entire community surrounding the appreciation of beards, which has permeated well beyond the traditional areas of adult Dungeons & Dragons fans and actual warlocks, and in the world of heavy metal - some might say the beard's most natural home - beards are lauded over as some mythical beast. Now, my beard isn't the fuzziest or largest around, but it remains majestic in its own right. Besides, it's not the size of the beard; simply having one automatically enrols you into this prestigious and gentleman-y society, unless it's one of those ones that looks a bit like a stiff breeze, or an unchastised cat's tongue would take it clean off your face. In the simplest of terms, having a full spread of facial hair is incredible, and so too (mostly) is the attention a fine cheek thatch can often attracts. However, with great power comes slight annoyance from time to time: it's nice to have people approach you in a pub or any other social gathering and engage you in friendly beard-based banter, but sometimes there are questions we beardos get asked a little too often. The following is a list of four questions I, and my fellow bearded brethren, have been asked a few too many times. This should serve as a friendly warning that whatever you're about to ask the strange man with the amazing facial hair is something he (or she let's not stereotype here) may have heard several times that day already. And maybe you should just not.
