5 Locations That Look Good In The Movies (But Suck In Real Life)

4. Cornwall - Vast Open Spaces Of Nothing

The MovieBlue Juice Cornwall is one of the sunniest places in the UK. However when you consider that East Sussex boasts similar levels of sunshine you may be ready to kill yourself for caring. Nevertheless it remains a holiday hotspot for the English who are cheap, xenophobic or climate change castrated. But usually all three. Blue Juice, starring Catherine Zeta Jones' cleave and Sean Pertwee's genitals in a sock, made it look like a paradise for surfers. And by English qualifications, maybe it is - but surfers are in the minority. The Reality Now, imagine Blue Juice without the surfing and nine out of ten shops selling terrible pasties and postcards exclusively. This is your Cornwall, tubby. Once you've done a cliff top walk and taken a windy picture at unsurprisingly bleak Land's End you'll want to get back to the bustle of home as soon as possible, away from devolution confused locals. Yes, you can kill time in larger areas such as Newquay or Truro but leave before the sun sets. They become swamped with Brit yobs speaking in a system of "oi" noises. They're the clever ones who switched their Magaluf fund over to the Stella pot.