7 'Cures' For Baldness You Won't Believe

7. Cow Pee


Mooove over Minoxidil; try this udderly unbelievable baldness blitzer instead.

Hindu practitioners at Agra's famed Gaushala cow shelter absolutely swear that imbibing the freshly, um, 'milked', urine from their vestal vaches is not only the best way to reverse hairlessness, but the only way. So long as its drank before sunrise, anyway.

As luck would have it, the bovine sanctuary's gift shop is stacked with bottles of the 'amber nectar', like a pissy off-license. An enteral treatment is also available ('ghanavati' - cow wee tablets), as well as a whole range of exciting products fashioned from cattle ordure. Soap, for example. Made of cow sh*t. It's hipster heaven.

Does pulling the other one do anything whatsoever for involuntary hat-wearers though? No, but as a non-alcohol alternative to cheap cider, it's ideal.

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.