7 'Cures' For Baldness You Won't Believe

5. A Suction Pump

French Fries Balding
Crosley Autoclub

Clamping a vacuum cleaner to your head seems like a counter-intuitive way to coax a hairy comeback, not to mention it'll probably knack the drive belt. But that was the great innovation of The Crosley Corporation back in 1937, whose Xervac suction pump claimed to be able to restore the top lawn by improving the circulation to the scalp.

The science behind the theory probably wasn't entirely trustworthy - this was a company which made cars and radios, after all - but nevertheless, certain esteemed individuals swore by the contraption. Fred Astaire did the one-step dance daily, and for George Gerswhin it was a case of Rhapsody in Hoover.

Obviously, it did the square root of sod all for either of them, but at least they didn't look silly doing it.

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.