7 'Cures' For Baldness You Won't Believe

6. The Scottish Elixir


In Kerry Segrave's Baldness: A Social History - a guide to societal responses to denuded noggins - the cultural historian outlines a Scottish dedoction from the 18th century believed to halt male pattern baldness, and it doesn't involve a deep fryer or sheep's pluck.

It's simply a case of burning a load of things - chiefly, frogs, bees, and goats' dung - rubbing the ashes into the exposed areas, and then shampooing afterwards with dog's urine. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Is this a magical cure-all for fading follicles, or the recipe for Heston Blumenthal's latest molecular-gastronomy monstrosity? Well, it's neither, but it is a good excuse to set fire to some frogs.

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.