7 Hilariously Batsh*t Things David "Avocado" Wolfe Believes

6. Conspiracy Theories II: Flat Earth

David Wolfe Sun Chocolate

Hold on to your buttocks, everyone, because here’s a revelation: David Wolfe isn’t a scientist and he definitely isn’t a person who has even basic knowledge of the sciences. Fancy f*cking that. But as we all know, you don’t need to know about the sciences in order to be a con-artist, why bother learning about Physics when the people you’re screwing out of money, don’t even know what Physics is? That’s just wasting time and effort.

David Wolfe doesn’t come across as the brightest bulb around, especially as he thinks solar energy isn’t a renewable energy source because "the light [solar panels] absorb is lost forever" and once claimed that solar panels are "draining the sun". Not even joking. I can’t even make this sh*t up. This is a skill. This needs to be studied.

He’s also Flat Earther because, of course he f*cking is. Nothing makes sense more than dismissing all evidence produced in the field of Physics in favour of your own scientific ignorance and ego. If you put ants on a basketball, they will think the ball is flat. Why? Their size isn’t large enough, relative to the Earth for them to actually notice the curve. Just like the people on Planet Earth.

I need another drink.

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Science. Coffee. Metalhead. Woman-shaped Nerd. Must love cats. Sometimes Sober. High-five me at: www.facebook.com/InsufferableIntolerance