7. The Excuse To Sit Near You
"Hey is this seat taken?". This is when you look up, grunt, spill coffee and try to smile all at the same time. You didn't hear what the stranger said. "Sorry?" You're ripping your headphones out at light speed. You sort of splutter whilst wincing at your now sodden and scolded groin. He smiles and repeats the question. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you- I just wondered, can I sit there?" And then you see it. You just
know it. They're the one. You really bloody well fancy them. He's all tall, dark, handsome. The cliché. So you respond in the dullest manner possible. Trying to keep your cool. You imagine an air of nonchalance descending over you. All the while subtly hinting at the fact that you are single and ready to mingle and don't mind turning this into a first date: "Uhuh." You inwardly smack yourself on the forehead over and over until you're barely capable of smiling again as they shuffle around and de-coat themselves and settle. That sexy tiger purring within you suddenly turns into one of those god awful hairless cat things.