8 Superpowers That Would Actually Suck

5. Talking To Animals

Granted, a lot of the superheroes that can talk to animals are pretty lame, and perhaps there's a good reason why. Animals, by human standards, are idiots. Sounds mean, but there's definitely a reason why we're top of the food chain, and it's not because we have the biggest fangs and sharpest claws.

Presumably, because only a select few can understand the animals, they are not speaking on a human level, the humans are "speaking animal" and, as much as we gasp at a dolphin's ability to recognise itself in a mirror, the reality of talking to an animal will most likely consist of a series of broken nouns screeched at you. Probably telling you to either get away or bring food. Either that or just sort of screaming. Being an animal is scary. That beautiful birdsong that fills the air? It's mostly birds telling other birds to eff off.

You know when your cat mews adorably at you? They're just trying to manipulate you. Talking to fish is a whole other level. Even if they could articulate their experiences into some kind of understandable words, it would probably be a mixture of abject terror and a constant burble of "is that food, yes? Looks like food. Eat it. No, not food, spit it out. Is that food?" Not super-scintillating stuff.