9 Celebrities Who Might Not Actually Be Dead

4. Adolf Hitler

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Failed artist, anti-semite, mass murderer and sporter of the most infamous moustache in history. Lodged within the Fuhrerbunker on that fateful and long-expected day of 30th April 1945, the killer of around six million innocent Jews either shot himself, chowed-down on some cyanide, or possibly both. Having heard of the demise of bosom buddy Benito Mussolini and the advancement of the Red Army and the Allied troops, the Furher made the decision to take his own life. The bodies of he and his wife of two days, Eva Braun, were then taken out of the bunker, doused in petrol and torched. Supposedly with only their scorched skeletons intact, their remains were interred and exhumed on more than one occasion before finally, in April 1970, being crushed and scattered in the Biederitz along with scraps of Goebels and other cronies. Conspiracy theorists say: The skull they found wasn't his, it belonged to a 40 year old woman. But christ, even we hope he's not still breathing!
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Contributor

Out of touch, out of date and out of work. With no other discernible skills of any real use to society, I thought I'd give this a bash. My main focuses are food, music, sport and anything remotely related to ISS Pro 98. I spend half of my life listening to records and the other half wondering whether it'd be possible to become John Cooper Clarke's mate. He, alongside Stephen Fry and Countdown's Rachel Riley, should run the country.