9 Science Approved Life Hacks To Make Everything Better

4. Sober Up Quicker, Traumatise Yourself

Okay, now that you know how to get super drunk, you'll need to know how to sober up quick smart. There's nothing worse than rocking up somewhere and realising you're much drunker than everyone else, and sometimes killing your own buzz is the right thing to do. A study in the early nineties got a group of 60 volunteers mortal on vodka cranberries (where do we sign up for these studies again?), and then subjected them to one of two stressful tasks (okay, never mind). One group held their hands in ice cold water for ten minutes (taking 30 second breaks) and the other group watched a harrowing 15 minute video of eye-surgery (say what you like about scientists, they're imaginative). They found that, although the subjects got drunker faster, they also sobered up much quicker both in their BACs and their self-reported mental state. You'll also be pleased to discover that it was the ice-water group who sobered up the fastest, so there's no need to download an eye-surgery video on to your phone for emergencies. That kind of behaviour can make you look like a psychopath. The 1994 experiment was a repeat of a study in the 70s in which the participants were given whiskey and electric shocks. Sounds like a pretty good night out.