9. Omniscience
Its like the song says: he sees you when youre sleeping, he knows when youre awake, and he knows if youve been bad or good. Santa has been keeping track of the behavior of children all around the world, and hes able to do it because he can see everywhere. Do you realize how much time it would take him to go around the world to take note of every child and write down whether theyve been naughty or nice. The man is busy enough as it is. Why else do you think hes outsourced his mall and department store appearances to actors wearing cheap beards? At the same time, he cant send the elves out to spy on the children. Elves dont always blend in well, and it can be difficult to bail an elf out of jail when theyve been arrested for breaking and entering while they were trying to see if little Susie did her chores like her mother asked her to. No, the simple fact is that Santa has the innate ability to see everything. All he has to do is think of a childs name and he can see how theyve been behaving over the past year. From there, he decides whether they go on the naughty or nice list, and if they have been nice, hell know what present to give them. This made me wonder whether he needs the list at all, but then I realized that just because he can see everywhere doesntn mean he can retain all that knowledge, which is why he has to write it down. He must have a warehouse full of file cabinets with all the records he keeps.