1. Ouch
Remember those incredibly itchy jumpers your grandmother used to knit for you? Ever wanted to literally be a Christmas tree? If either of these apply to you, why not combine the endless hilarity of both with this monstrosity, which offers literally seconds of fun, yet hours of pain and a lifetime of embarrassment. The only requirement for wearing this one is that you actually enjoy the thought of having no skin, or picking little green spikes out of your armpits for all eternity. MERRY CHRISTMAS!