5. Ash Wednesday
Though not as suddenly as my next nonsense holiday. Shrove Tuesday (or Pancake Day) isnt as big name as some other holidays, but it is still quietly and profoundly awesome. Its the one day of the year when you can eat six pancakes in a row and not be judged by anybody but your stomach. It brings people together in a way so absolute that I, against religion in most ways, found myself sharing the joy with several firm Christians and having an absolutely wonderful time. And then, the day afterwards, comes Ash Wednesday. The beginning of Lent, when youre supposed to give up something that you honestly love in life for forty whole days to satisfy some universal urge that seems to be saying that youve been having far too much fun and now must suffer for it. Ive already admitted to being nowhere near a Christian, and so may not understand all the nuances of this event, but this seems a little off to me. In my experience the universe is going to do its very best to sit on your head no matter what view you take. So why, precisely, should we make ourselves intentionally miserable when the world is already going to do it for us in the most profound of ways? Honestly, just choose to eat a few more pancakes. Itll make you far better prepared to face eighty-odd years of the world randomly taking against you.