4. St. Patrick's Day
It may not, however, make you any better prepared for human beings taking against you. Especially if youre being, well, a bit of an idiot. I have no problem with people celebrating St. Patricks Day if theyre Irish. I mean, looking at the legends about him he honestly isnt a nice dude (what on earth did he have against snakes? Answers on a postcard) but its their choice, so all power to them. Dress in green! Get drunk! Dance through the streets while shouting at the top of your lungs! Its their day. And, even as a quarter-Irish person, I wouldnt dream of dictating it to them. If youre not Irish, however Well, youre just a little dumb really. I can understand any excuse to get drunk, even if I still dont drink myself (no, the stupidity of these holidays hasnt yet driven me to that), but the other things? Stop wearing green, the shades that you choose are offensive to the eye. Stop doing a little jig and singing in the streets, you can do neither and you will get hit by a car. And stop, above all, doing a bad Irish accent which is offensive to anybody with even the slightest connection to the place. Its just annoying, really, to have to face a pack of idiots in offensively green outfits who think that theyre allowed to behave however they like just because its one day in the year that doesnt even relate to them.