Earth Day And 5 Other Completely Pointless Holidays

4. St. Patrick's Day

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It may not, however, make you any better prepared for human beings taking against you. Especially if you€™re being, well, a bit of an idiot. I have no problem with people celebrating St. Patrick€™s Day if they€™re Irish. I mean, looking at the legends about him he honestly isn€™t a nice dude (what on earth did he have against snakes? Answers on a postcard) €“ but it€™s their choice, so all power to them. Dress in green! Get drunk! Dance through the streets while shouting at the top of your lungs! It€™s their day. And, even as a quarter-Irish person, I wouldn€™t dream of dictating it to them. If you€™re not Irish, however€ Well, you€™re just a little dumb really. I can understand any excuse to get drunk, even if I still don€™t drink myself (no, the stupidity of these holidays hasn€™t yet driven me to that), but the other things? Stop wearing green, the shades that you choose are offensive to the eye. Stop doing a little jig and singing in the streets, you can do neither and you will get hit by a car. And stop, above all, doing a bad Irish accent which is offensive to anybody with even the slightest connection to the place. It€™s just annoying, really, to have to face a pack of idiots in offensively green outfits who think that they€™re allowed to behave however they like just because it€™s one day in the year that doesn€™t even relate to them.
 
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A Classical Studies and English Literature university student. Interested in most things ancient, Shakespeare and Doctor Who (Mainly Doctor Who, I will admit). Apparently now a vaguely official writer-type person, which is something that may never stop being a shock.