7. Double The Wages Of Tim Krul And Mathieu Debuchy
Media Image LtdThanks to Newcastle City Council banning me from being within 500 yards of Mathieu Debuchy's bins, I no longer have access to his discarded payslips, but I'm willing to bet whatever he and Tim Krul earn, another £75k a week between them wouldn't go unnoticed. These two were, arguably, the only two players to really emerge with any credit after the last half of the season, and quite predictably are the two most likely to not be here at the start of the next. Adding to the squad's all well and good, but just for once it would be nice if this wasn't accompanied by an inevitable heart-wrenching departure. If you're reading this Yohan, can you let me know you got the muffin basket? I couldn't pay for recorded delivery. That's not to say more money will definitely keep them here, but it certainly can't hurt. It's not like we can sell the club to them with normal things like European football, trophy prospects, or nice weather.